This is hands down, one of the most common questions astrologers get asked or it is at least a close second, after financial prospects. Usually some wide-eyed client who met Mr. or Ms. Thang will want to know if they are “the one.”
As humans we have a longing and a desire to find our other half, our soulmate. We don’t feel complete until we do. So it is no surprise that this is a favourite request. The Realm of Astrology will endeavour to answer this age-old question in the form of a “Do It Yourself” guide to help both the novice ad expert come up with their own check list to see if Mr. or Ms. Right has waltzed into their lives.
First and foremost, with synastry, the orb of the aspects between the two natal charts has to be quite tight. Individual natal chart astrology is more lenient with regards to orbs but not synastry. The orb to work with is 1-3 degrees. Remember, the tighter the better. It will be felt more acutely by both parties.
Do it yourself guide to synastry and romantic compatibility.
The luminaries, Sun and Moon.
Of course all of us went out and purchased Linda Goodman’s Relationship Signs in our youth to find out if our significant other was as into us. Sun sign astrology is important but not as important as you may think. If you and your mate do not have compatible Sun signs, it does not spell disaster and doom for your relationship. The important thing is what other aspects that Sun is making to other planets in your mates chart. Contacts to the personal planets is always a good sign.
One of the best indicator of romantic compatibility is if your mate’s Sun is conjunct your Moon. The Moon is our emotional nature and conditioned responses. For domestic bliss, having compatible moons is crucial. In fact, it is more important than Sun sign contacts.
If your Moon is conjunct your partner’s Sun this is a sign of a soul mate relationship. It is the balance of masculine and feminine polarities. It is ying and yang. The Moon person soothes the Sun person. It works very well in a traditional partnership where the Sun person is male and the Moon person is female. Other aspects are not as strong as the conjunction but work very nicely such as the sextile and trine. The opposition or square are more tense and require work.
Another interesting thing about the Sun and Moon in relationships is that the midpoint of these two is a super sensitive point in the birth chart. If someone has either their Moon or Sun on that midpoint or in hard aspect to it, (45˚, 90˚ and 180˚) they could be your soul mate. They will certainly stir something in you.
This is the most sought after aspect in synastry astrology which is the infamous Venus and Mars connection. Sure it is sexy, but it is only on a physical level. This aspect alone does not guarantee harmony, longevity, commitment and mutual understanding in a relationship. For that you need to look for other aspects in the synastry. If you do have Venus conjunct Mars in your charts, you turn each other on. Chances are it was love a first sight or at least lust at first sight. Venus is a feminine planet, and the attraction principle. Venus represents love, balance, and harmony. Mars is a masculine planet, and is the drive and motivation principle. It represents sex, aggression, and action. As always, the conjunction, trine and sextile are pleasing aspects. The opposition and square are stressful and require work. If Venus and Mars are badly aspected in the synastry charts, sexual jealousy and possessiveness may wreck havoc on the relationship. Over time it will take a toll on the relationship.
All Venus aspects need to be explored when dealing with synastry. Venus is extremely important in synastry. Wherever Venus touches in the other person’s chart there will be ease, harmony and understanding. Venus soothes the rough edges and creates instant harmony.
This is a wonderful compatibility aspect if you can get it. This shows that you are in tune with each other socially, and that you will enjoy each other’s company. The Sun person feels more loving and beautiful in the presence of the Venus person. The Venus person finds the Sun person quite charming and intriguing. This aspect produces mild sexual attraction. It is not as “in your face” as Venus/Mars aspect. The conjunction, sextile and trine are harmonious. The opposition and square are more challenging and require work.
Muy caliente! This is a very strong sexual and emotional link. It is one of the best comparative aspects for romance. There is an exchange of domestic and emotional stability, with love and emotional understanding. You are in sync with each others moods. This is an excellent marriage aspect. As always, the conjunction, trine and sextile create harmony and ease. The opposition and square are more challenging and require work.
This can certainly be a romantic aspect. It is not as intense as a Venus/Mars aspect but it nice nonetheless. There is a wonderful feeling of ease and comfort with each other. You like the same things and have similar approaches and styles. As always the the conjunction, sextile, and trine create harmony and ease. The square and opposition are more challenging because both natives do not see eye to eye which can lead to frustration.
When Venus contacts the outer planets—Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto—you will find very dynamic interactions that evolve over time. When a relationship lasts long enough to let these energies play out completely, increased understanding and connection are possible.
This aspects helps in smoothing what may otherwise be difficult associations. You have a strong mutual appreciation of religious, educational, aesthetic, and social values. This aspect favours lasting compatibility in marriage and romantic relationships. It is optimistic and cheerful. You bring each other social popularity and financial prosperity.
This an aspect that will “glue” the relationship together. When this aspect does occur in marriages and romantic relationships it favours durability of the match. There may be a significant age difference and/or a financial or security motivation in the relationship. The Venus person will tend to demonstrate much affection in the relationship, and the Saturn person will be much less able to respond in kind.
This comparative combination has a way of creating sudden and exciting romantic attractions; few aspects are stronger in the sexual attraction department. There is a definite romantic fascination for each other, and if other signs in the chart are right it may last, but often it won’t. At any rate, there is a lot of excitement and adventure in this combination.
This is one of those sizzling steaming hot sexual aspects. Maybe even hotter than the infamous Venus/Mars aspect. Anywhere Pluto touches leads to obsession and intensity. This is not an easy aspect in synastry because it can lead to the Pluto person trying to manipulate and control the Venus person. If both parties are aware of these tendencies it can lead to a complete transformation of your attitudes about love and relationships. The ability to grow as couple is possible. The conjunction, trine and sextile are easier to handle. The opposition and square can be very challenging.
This is a highly romantic aspect and an indicator that you have found your soul mate. This is what I refer to as the fairy tale aspect. There is a feeling of a mystical blending of love and spirituality. Your romantic involvement shares a creative understanding and artistic consciousness. The one thing to be aware is that the Venus person not put the Neptune person on a pedestal because sooner or later Neptune will not live up to Venus’ ideals and come tumbling down. As always, the conjunction, trine and sextile create harmony and ease. The opposition and square are more challenging and require work.
The ascendant and descendant axis
This is the magical axis in synastry. If you are lucky enough to host your paramour’s planets in either the first or seventh house, you may have found a soul mate. The Ascendant and first house represent our physical appearance and the way we project ourselves to the world. When you have planets in your partner’s first house, or vice-versa, a strong physical attraction is indicated. Ideally having a luminary such as the Sun or Moon is your best bet of physical attraction but having Venus in the mate’s first house is quite nice also.
The 7th house and Descendant represent our one-on-one relationships, and describes the qualities of our ideal mate. Thus, having planets in someone’s 7th house in synastry is indicative of mutual attraction. The planet person represents the qualities we lack, the qualities that will serve to “balance” us out. The house person is likely to find the planet person as someone who is “marriage material,” while the Planet person is likely to find the Ascendant person highly attractive. The strongest indicator of physical attraction is when someone’s inner planets fall in the 7th house, especially the Sun or Moon.
Planetary overlays in the 5th house
The 5th house represents fun and romance. So, if your planets are overlaid onto your partner’s 5th house, a romantic and sexual attraction is indicated. You love spending time with one another, and the planet person stimulates the house person’s desire for love, sex, and romance. This is especially true if the planet is Venus or Mars; you literally want to jump the person!
Planets in 8th house
The 8th house represents sex and intimacy. This is thus a very powerful synastry overlay to have between partners. In this case, the planet person stimulates the 8th house person’s desire for intimacy. The 8th house person wants to “merge” with the planet person and explore the depths of her sexuality. Hot, hot, hot! This is especially true if your partner’s Venus or Mars (sexual planets) fall in your 8th house. It’s practically irresistible. The 8th house person may even become obsessed, so watch out! This is definitely not a synastry aspect for the faint-hearted.
Psyche and Eros aspects
Another way of locating your soul mate is to find out if Mr. or Mrs. Right’s Eros conjuncts your Psyche. Eros is the god of erotic love and Psyche is the goddess of the soul. In mythology they were husband and wife. Unfortunately they had go through many trials and tribulations before they could settle down into wedded bliss. Because they had to test their love over and over again, their bond was rock solid. Wherever these two asteroids meet in synastry, there is a soul mate connection. As always, the conjunction, trine and sextile create harmony and ease. The opposition and square are more challenging and require work.
The above is a quick and dirty DIY check list of some of the indicators of whether you and the object of affection share mutual romantic feelings and attraction. Astrologically there are a hundreds of other ways to figure out compatibility but these are good starting points.